See? All swollen.
Mum came out to see me today. She says she feels better and is sorry for ignoring me all week. We had a little bit of an adventure getting me out of the grazing pasture. See, the gates for the grazing pasture are made so the horses (led by yours truly) can run from the chute straight to the grazing pasture. They are impossible to open with just 1 human if the human is trying to get a horse out. Today I was being a good Spoon and went to my Mum, and even though she tried her best two other horses got out of the grazing pasture when she was trying to get me.
So she had to tie me up while she tried to catch the other horses. I got mad, because they were GALLOPING all around me and I was all tied up. I had what my mum called a tempy tantrum. I called it Draft horse displeasure. I stomped and spun all around and snorted and tried to get untied but my halter didn’t break. I thought mum was gonna be mad, because horses aren’t supposed to have tempy tantrums but she wasn’t mad. She talked all softly and coo’ey to me and I stopped the tantrum because I decided I didn’t care if they were running anymore.
After all that craziness, mum noticed my head was all swollen and got worried. I dunno why its swollen. She poked it a lot to see if it hurt – it didn’t. Then she shoved that THING UP MY BUTT AGAIN! What is it with her? Every time she comes out she shoves something up my butt!
But the butt thing beeped and she said it was OK, so she decided to ride me anyway. I was being OK, but not the best Spoon has ever been. Mum said I had to start listening to her leg. I kept my ear on her leg, but it didn’t make any sounds. I don’t know what I’m supposed to listen for.
Instead, the legs just kicked a lot. I was like “ack! fine I’ll gooooooo” and then would tranter but she did not want to tranter so I dunno. She’s confusing.
It was windy and there was a baby in the people’s yard near the pasture. I have decided babies are scary. It is scary when people clap for babies. It is scary when they put babies in blue things and wheel them around like they’re a bunch of manure. I was scared of those things, but mum did not get mad when I got scared. She only got mad when I did not “listen to her leg,” whatever that means.
At the ends I got lots of pats and she baffed my head in case I had allergies that made it swell up.
I got water drips on my nose, daw.
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Mum has been sick, and has been very slack in the mum category lately. I decided this meant one thing… vacahsun!
But yesterday, trainer lady came out to get Spoon instead of mum. I see trainer lady working with horses a lot, and they always have to go trot trot FOREVER. Spoon was worried. Sure enough, trainer lady made me go trot trot forever and ever even though I was like “hey trainer lady I am done!” and did a little buck buck but trainer lady didn’t stop and then I was tired.
After trainer lady left, I heard a vicious rumor that she was gonna ride me on the trail today and teach me to be a good trail horse instead of a bucking trail horse. I didn’t wanna go on the trail forever and ever, so I had a Spoony stroke of genius.
I poopied myself.
When trainer lady came out and saw all the poopy, she texted my mum. Then they were all worried that I was sick. There were lots of questions like “Did I eat something?” Nope. “Was I dehydrated?” Nope. “Was I acting sick?” Nope. I did act a little sad like “Oh Spoony is sooooo regretful he cannot go trail riding but as you can see his is obviously sick so he should go back and eat some hay please k thanks.” So trainer lady put me back out after watching me for a while, because I was too sick to go out.
When mum came out to see me after work, she was worried. She came and got me and thought I was acting a little blah compared to normal. I mighta felt a little blah, because I might have poopied on myself a little more than I originally planned. She got a beepy thing and was hanging around my butt with it, and I was all like “Wut is that?” and then she PUT IT IN MY BUTT. Mum, that is for outs not ins. Not okay.
After she did that she acted a lot less worried, because I guess I passed the test. Then she scrubbed my butt a lot, and said it took a lot of pony love to scrub in between my butt cheeks with soaps.
I don’t really like scrubs, but I do like to play with the water in my mouth.
It’s fun. So I got all scrubbed up and didn’t have to work at all. Mum even gave me some orange crunchy sticks because she had missed me this week. Hopefully trainer lady won’t try tomorrow, because I might have run out of tricks.
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Mum luffs SmartPak. She says it is the bestest place to buy horse stuff. Spoon doesn’t do much shopping, so I take her word for it… but Spoon does all the reviews around here. Mum got me this halter because she hates rope halters. This is what I thinks about it!
- The colors make Spoon look like Mr. Draft America
- It has liney crossy pattern fleece on the nose and behind my ears, so is softy on the Spoony head
- It has safety release thing so Spoon will not accidentally hang himself to a horrid death -shudder-
- Mum said it was a good price
- It is a little small on the Spoony head, mum had to adjust it and said she is glad my head is not 1″ bigger (I wish my head was 10″ bigger then I would be the BIGGEST)
- The person string broke really easily. It got all unwoven and Mum said she had to get “all MacGyver” on it
Mum said she would not buy again, but for the monies it was OK. I think it’s just fine, and makes Spoony look dignified.
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Tsp's Greatest Hits
- My head is all swollen: See? All swollen. Mum came out to see me today...
- A draft horse inspection: Yesterday there was a special draft horse inspection fo...
- My new friend: I have a new friend. Mum says he is a Quarter Horse x...
- Tsp Tack Review - Centaur Camelwatch Breakaway Halter & Lead: Mum luffs SmartPak. She says it is the bestest pla...
Weight: 1450 lbs
Girth: 56" Sporthorse
Likes: Treats, golden orb of food, lufs and hugs
Dislikes: Going flexy bendy, Trot trot, Being in the back of the trail ride, water